This Angel on My Chest

Winner: 2015 Drue Heinz Literature Prize
Selected by Jill McCorkle
University of Pittsburgh Press

This Angel on My Chest is a collection of unconventionally linked stories, each about a different young woman whose husband dies suddenly and unexpectedly. Ranging from traditional stories to lists, a quiz, a YouTube link, and even a lecture about creative writing, the stories grasp to put into words the ways in which we all cope with unspeakable loss.

Based on the author’s own experience of losing her husband at age thirty-seven, this book explores the resulting grief, fury, and bewilderment, mirroring the obsessive nature of grieving. The stories examine the universal issues we face at a time of loss, as well as the specific concerns of a young widow: support groups, in-laws, insurance money, dating, and remarriage. This Angel on My Chest ultimately asks, how is it possible to move forward with life while “till death do you part” rings in your ears—and, how is it possible not to?

Praise:

“The author’s wit, clarity, and literary inventiveness dance circles around the omnipresent sadness, making this book a prime example of the furious creative energy that can explode from the collision of grief with talent and craftsmanship.”

— Kirkus Reviews (starred)

[named Best Books of Fiction, 2015]

“A powerful and moving collection. These stories are held together by the experience of grief; a husband dying too soon and a wife left to go on. There is an abundance of wit, and wise observations about life. I always felt firmly rooted in the emotion, startled again and again by the weight of the simplest everyday objects and situations, against a backdrop of loss.”

—Jill McCorkle, judge, author of Life After Life

“A stunning book, a rare tour de force, this prismatic look at the devastation of losing a young spouse explodes with intelligence, with poetry, with personality, with a dazzling array of views from different perspectives all faced toward the same empty, motionless center. It is ablaze with Pietrzyk’s courage and her compassion. Pages fly by until the subject no longer merely frightens you but now terrifies, while making your heart more open, more understanding all at once. This, folks, is what writing is all about. I am in awe.”

—Robin Black, author of If I loved you, I would tell you this & Life Drawing

“Leslie Pietrzyk has been a favorite writer of mine for a long time now. Don’t miss these stories.”

—Richard Bausch, author of Before, During, After

“But I had no idea—none at all—of how ferociously smart This Angel on My Chest, winner of the 2015 Drue Heinz Literature Prize, would be until I sat down this very morning and read it, cover to cover. I had no idea I’d be so spellbound.”

-Beth Kephart, New York Journal of Books

“Still, by turning her personal experience into a universal story of loss, Pietrzyk transforms the stream-of-consciousness of a diary into a compelling narrative.”

Washington City Paper

“Pietrzyk’s ability to make each story new while retaining the same essentials is a feat—and it succeeds….The reader is happily surprised by each new development even as sorrow continues to pierce the heart.”

~Kelly Cherry, Women’s Review of Books

“This Angel on My Chest is a really impressive piece of work, viewing a core event as through a prism, an ingenious concept for a book and fully deserving of any prize out there that recognizes literary brilliance.”

~Potomac Journal

“This collection makes the reader feel more at peace with the unknown and less angry, less frustrated. Instead Pietrzyk both directly and indirectly challenges the reader to question and ruminate in the silence of the unknown. An absolutely wondrous read that should be on your reading list!”

~A.R. Arthur, Psychopomp

Seven Sisters Award: Best Book of the Year, 2015

Me, at a live-storytelling event, telling the story in “One Art” in This Angel on My Chest.

Reviews & Press:

Read an excerpt: “Ten Things”

Interview with Leslie Pietrzyk

From “Sophomore Outing,” a live storytelling event in Washington, DC, on May 5, 2011. Hosted by Story League. This is a YouTube video.

At-home reading of “A Quiz,” recorded for the students I missed due to coronavirus shutdown at Chadron State College on my March 2020 writing/residency drive through Nebraska.

RECIPE FOR THIS ANGEL ON MY CHEST

I’ve been making this dish to celebrate my birthday for many years. If I were allowed one last meal on my deathbed, this would be it. But it doesn’t always work that way, so once a year is fine. We have to live as though we’ll never die. And we have to live as though we’ll die tomorrow. Don’t think: just eat this.

It’s so rich and so perfect, like silk sliding around your mouth. The recipe is from Cook’s Illustrated, and I’ve found their recipes to be very fussy, but very reliable. If you follow their recipes precisely, the results are 99% worth the trouble. And if you think you don’t like spaghetti carbonara, I would humbly suggest that you’ve never had a good version. It’s been my experience that most restaurants mess it up horribly. So here it is, in all its bacon fat-raw egg-cheesy-winey-10,000 calorie danger and glory!

Spaghetti alla Carbonara

¼ cup extra-virgin olive oil
½ pound bacon (6-8 slices), slices halved length-wise, then cut crosswise into ¼ inch pieces [A little larger is okay]
½ cup dry white wine
3 large eggs
¾ cup finely grated Parmesan (about 2 oz)
¼ cup finely grated Pecorino Romana (about ¾ oz)
3 small garlic cloves, pressed through garlic press or minced to paste
1 pound spaghetti
Salt
Freshly ground pepper

Adjust oven rack to lower-middle position, set large heatproof serving bowl on rack, and heat oven to 200 degrees. Bring 4 quarts of water to rolling boil in large Dutch oven or stockpot.
While water is heating, heat oil in large skillet over medium heat until shimmering, but not smoking. Add bacon and cook, stirring occasionally, until lightly browned and crisp, about 8 minutes. Add wine and simmer until alcohol aroma has cooked off and wine is slightly reduced, 6-8 minutes. Remove from heat and cover to keep warm. Beat eggs, cheeses, and garlic together with fork in small bowl; set aside. [It’s actually helpful if you do this ahead of time and let the eggs rest at room temperature for a short while.]
When water comes to boil, add pasta and 1 tablespoon table salt; stir to separate pasta. Cook until al dente; reserve 1/3 cup pasta cooking water and drain pasta for about 5 seconds, leaving pasta slightly wet. Transfer drained pasta to warm serving bowl; if pasta is dry, add some reserved cooking water and toss to moisten. [I rarely need to do this.] Immediately pour egg mixture over hot pasta, sprinkle with 1 teaspoon sea salt flakes or ¾ teaspoon table salt; toss well to combine. Pour bacon mixture over pasta, season generously with black pepper and toss well to combine. Serve immediately.

4-6 servings.

Note: This is not the kind of recipe you can halve or double, so make this amount exactly. It’s best this first day, but leftovers are still good for lunch: let them sit at room temperature or heat VERY briefly in the microwave. You don’t want to heat even close to “hot.”

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